Last week I started student teaching. I was so excited to finally be at this point in my schooling, however now that I am a week into this adventure, I am really questioning my decision. I am still excited about teaching and although there have been some challenging moments in the classroom, I believe that this is the right career path for me. The problem is that I have truly enjoyed staying home with the kids. I quit working at Kimberly-Clark two years ago. I can't believe that it has been that long already. The expression "time flies when you are having fun" is so true. The kids and I have had such fun at home. Of course it hasn't been all roses. There were definitely moments of sassiness that resulted in time outs but overall it has been a great time. It has been especially hard to leave Rhys. I am so thankful that I was able to stay home with hime for 6 months compared to 3 months with the girls. It was still so hard to leave him at daycare. Gabe and I love Carrol and are could not be happier with her home daycare. She loves the kids like her own. Ellie loves to go to "school" and play with her friends. Rhys on the other hand has had a more difficult time adjusting. He is not eating well at Carrol's and not sleeping well. It just breaks my heart. I know this is only the first week and with time he will adjust but it doesn't lessen the emotions. I am also finding it difficult to balance everything again. I come home and want to spend time with the kids but there is laundry, dishes, lesson plans, etc to do. Not to mention the fact that I am tired and would just like to put on my pj's and climb into bed. I also feel like I had to give up some of my extra-curriculars. I really miss those things. I have seen both worlds and I am wondering if maybe being a stay at home mom was really where my heart was. My life is so different from where I thought I would be. I was the person who didn't really want kids and I was very career oriented. All that changed when I had Victoria. I am glad that I will have my teaching credentials in my back pocket but I do wonder if I have made the right decision. I guess that is why there is a constant debate about working parents versus stay at home parents and what is best for the family. I know this. I am looking forward to June 5th when I get to be home with the kids again (plus it will be summer) :)
To all those working moms out there:
If you have any good advice or even encouragement, I am all ears!